Can you fit a melody to "Lizard in the Whizzer"?

Yikes! This Aftenposten story (with cool picture) about a big, carnivorous, black-and-yellow South American lizard winding up in a toilet sure beats the Bernal Heights rat I found treading water in mine last summer. Seems like song material for sure. Good luck, Paul (and thanks to Coast to Coast AM for the link).